I am sitting at a table with four small boxes in front of me. My parents point out the latter two, they house my grandparents' remains. The first two are different, unique unto themselves. The first is all digital, buttons and clocks and full of silicon. It is a sleek black box. The second, intricately carved wood with traditional decorative Swedish flairs. I stare at them, and my parents say bluntly this is what they'd like to be put in. My throat starts to close and grief washes over me. I awake.

We found a diamond. It's lovely, small and delicate. He hides it away from the rest of us. He leaves, I find his belongings and finger a razor blade. It dawns on me that he intends to cut it out of the other boy, to whom he had fed the diamond for safekeeping. I know where the diamond is now. I find the boy throwing up in the sinks of the bathroom. Two sinks are already full of vomit, the third he is filling up. I run the water in the one he last finishes and when everything swirls out, the diamond glitters on the drain grate. We quickly take it and leave. Everything becomes blurry now, the other kids are being brainwashed, I try to save them and then...

A giant scoreboard stands before me. A voice asks me when I'm going to tell him the truth. All my secret sins stand as numbers on the scoreboard. I say never. He'll leave me. I find myself in my apartment, in front of the bathroom door. Steam leaks from underneath it. I know someone is inside, I dare not enter. I leave the apartment, it becomes see-through and I see a naked woman monster in my bathtub, curled up in a fetal position. She has three red eyes. She terrifies me so I run off to find myself being chased by various monsters, in a game I ultimately cannot win. I realize that as long as I keep my secrets, I will be stuck with these creatures. As they close in on me I beam myself up into being awake.

I painted (photoshop) the woman in the bathroom. She doesn't look as menacing as she felt in the dream.



Nightmares, for me, are one of the first signs that my psychotic side is taking ahold. Other symptoms lately have been losing control of my hands, thinking in color, and generally feeling weird. I try and avoid this all I can, I try to stay busy but if the monsters are looking for me now, in the crevasses of my brain, they probably will find me. I cannot hide much longer. I'm slipping...